Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Cedars-Sinai Medical Center
Zac Efron was rushed to Cedars today to have his appendix removed. If you recall, this is where Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie went to have their babies on the same day. Appendicitis! Why didn't I think of that? That is MUCH better plan than getting knocked up and inducing labor the same day as Anne Hathaway (if she ever decides to have a baby with that old boyfriend of hers).
RIP, Brad Renfro
According to TMZ, a v. reputable source of information, Brad Renfro was found dead in his home. Cause of death unknown. But he was pretty into drugs.
Brad Renfro will join Jonathan Brandis in that special place in my heart. The place where all of my pretty boy childhood crushes go when they die too soon. Oh, Brad. You were so awesome in Tom and Huck. You almost made me forget about JTT.
Ex.
Tom Sawyer: Hello Huck! What you doing here?
Huck: Lookin' for jackasses.
Tom Sawyer: Under a bridge?
Huck: I found one, didn't I?
[Both laugh]
Brad Renfro will join Jonathan Brandis in that special place in my heart. The place where all of my pretty boy childhood crushes go when they die too soon. Oh, Brad. You were so awesome in Tom and Huck. You almost made me forget about JTT.
Ex.
Tom Sawyer: Hello Huck! What you doing here?
Huck: Lookin' for jackasses.
Tom Sawyer: Under a bridge?
Huck: I found one, didn't I?
[Both laugh]
Monday, January 14, 2008
Misc.
Guess who's number 82 on Google Analytics! Supriya Jindal, Governor-Elect Bobby Jindal's wife! Good on us, New Orleans, Asians ladies, and LSU Alum.
Did you know that there is a breed of dog called the Caucasian Shepherd Dog? As a middle schooler, I'd obsessively read books about different breeds of dogs, and this is the first I've heard of these dogs. I find it extremely ironic that the dogs aren't even white.
Please tell me there's an Oriental Dry Cleaner Dog.
Did you know that there is a breed of dog called the Caucasian Shepherd Dog? As a middle schooler, I'd obsessively read books about different breeds of dogs, and this is the first I've heard of these dogs. I find it extremely ironic that the dogs aren't even white.
Please tell me there's an Oriental Dry Cleaner Dog.
Friday, January 11, 2008
A Banner Day for Babies
Christina Aguilera and Nicole Richie supposedly went into labor (or maybe got a C-section, so the baby won't have an unsightly cone head) today. But GUESS WHAT! They went to the SAME HOSPITAL!!!!! Is this like Pinkberry? This is the new hot celebrity hangout? EEEE!!!! I want to have unprotected sex and move to California to have my bastard child JUST SO I CAN GO THERE!!1! Maybe Summer Glau, of recent Terminator fame, will get knocked up, or Marian Jones or Kelly Ripa will become impregnated. Kelly's used to that, right?
In other news, Toni Collete had a baby. And a pair of British twins who were separated at birth married each other. And then found out they were brother and sister and threw up alllllll over each other and got divorce and a really good therapist and are alternating between uppers and downers.
In other news, Toni Collete had a baby. And a pair of British twins who were separated at birth married each other. And then found out they were brother and sister and threw up alllllll over each other and got divorce and a really good therapist and are alternating between uppers and downers.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Things that are popular as of 10:31pm
Ivanka Trump. Fine, Celebrity Apprentice promo monkeys. I totally want to know which celebrity insulted Donald Trump's daughter, and what he or she said to invoke the non-wrath of The Donald. Did someone mention the botched boob job?
Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson. Why? Did someone uncover something uncouth about The Battle of Bull Run?
Andrew Jackson. Ok. This has to be the result of one person not knowing "Stonewall's" first name. B/c here are the rankings on Google Trends:
1. Stonewall Jackson
5. Andrew Jackson
6. Stonewall Jackson's first name
7. Thomas Jackson
13. Stone Wall Jackson
But wouldn't one wikipedia search do the trick?
Billy Bush. Someone tell me what he did to warrant 3 places out of 100?
Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson. Why? Did someone uncover something uncouth about The Battle of Bull Run?
Andrew Jackson. Ok. This has to be the result of one person not knowing "Stonewall's" first name. B/c here are the rankings on Google Trends:
1. Stonewall Jackson
5. Andrew Jackson
6. Stonewall Jackson's first name
7. Thomas Jackson
13. Stone Wall Jackson
But wouldn't one wikipedia search do the trick?
Billy Bush. Someone tell me what he did to warrant 3 places out of 100?
The cheapest car in all the land
Holy crap, you guys. Tata Motors has just debuted the Tata Nano, the cheapest car on the market. For the low, low price of $2,500, you too can own a teeny, tiny, Tonka car that will probably crumple on the highway if it comes in contact with another American-sized car. You will definately die if you drive this car and an H2 comes and bumps you from behind. I know this because I did market research on the Smart Car in college for an advertising class. Trust my vaguely disguised plagarized reports!
This closest price competitor is the Maruti 800, which is even freaking smaller and is twice as expensive.
But seriously. A $2,500 car. That's like, 5 iPhones. You can have 5 iPhones or a Tata Nano car.
The Nano is going on sale in India later. See, at least you dont have to worry about Hummers over there. What's the worst that can happen? A monkey could land on your hood and put a couple of dents in it. A snake charmer can mistake it for one of his snake baskets and fill the interior with snakes. A bunch of outsourced telemarketers can come...pick it up and carry it away.
This closest price competitor is the Maruti 800, which is even freaking smaller and is twice as expensive.
But seriously. A $2,500 car. That's like, 5 iPhones. You can have 5 iPhones or a Tata Nano car.
The Nano is going on sale in India later. See, at least you dont have to worry about Hummers over there. What's the worst that can happen? A monkey could land on your hood and put a couple of dents in it. A snake charmer can mistake it for one of his snake baskets and fill the interior with snakes. A bunch of outsourced telemarketers can come...pick it up and carry it away.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Guess who
Did you know that Dr. Laura is still relevant? According to Google Trends, she is. Wtf. I thought it was all about Dr. Phil and how he uses crazy non-sequitors and dumb analogies and ruins Britney Spears' life. Not that I watch any of that crap. I hate Dr. Phil almost as much as I hate Judge Judy.
You know what show I WOULD watch? If I bothered to look up the time and channel is appears on? Ghost Hunters International. Because it's just like Ghost Busters, minus the ectoplasm, PLUS cool accents.
I love sci-fi. Everyone on Firefly - Jayne "I'll be in my bunk", Kaley, from Flash Forward, hot, hot Mal. Wot from a Knight's Tale. Where's the bad?
Also still popular? The Country Bears. I have no idea why. Those animatronic creeps scared the bejeezus out of me at Disney World. Being in a dark, barn-like restaurant with checkered table cloth looking at giant bears stiffly playing banjos. It's like they have the opposite of lymphedema, which is a notoriously debilitating disease with no known cure.
And the movie? How the hell did that get greenlit? And why did Christopher Walken agree to be in it? Did he owe his bookie some money?
You know what show I WOULD watch? If I bothered to look up the time and channel is appears on? Ghost Hunters International. Because it's just like Ghost Busters, minus the ectoplasm, PLUS cool accents.
I love sci-fi. Everyone on Firefly - Jayne "I'll be in my bunk", Kaley, from Flash Forward, hot, hot Mal. Wot from a Knight's Tale. Where's the bad?
Also still popular? The Country Bears. I have no idea why. Those animatronic creeps scared the bejeezus out of me at Disney World. Being in a dark, barn-like restaurant with checkered table cloth looking at giant bears stiffly playing banjos. It's like they have the opposite of lymphedema, which is a notoriously debilitating disease with no known cure.
And the movie? How the hell did that get greenlit? And why did Christopher Walken agree to be in it? Did he owe his bookie some money?
Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed List
I have no idea who is on this, seeing as I can't work up the energy for a Google keyword search. Imagine that!
Here are the people I imagine are populating his list:
Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen
Lindsay Lohan (enough with the leggings, already! Dye your hair back!)
Britney Spears (although now that's she's all bipolar or whatever, she can probably get away with being "eccentric")
Cindy McCain, John McCain's wife
Rudolph Zurick
Richard Cohen
Hillary Clinton
Meredith Viera
Mark Consuelos
Um, the last 3/4 of that list might also be the popular keywords for January 9, 2008.
But you know who would've made Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed List of 1994?
Yours truly.
I was a big fan of: neon slap bracelets, big t-shirts with shoulder pads, often emblazoned with Disney cartoons, leggings, high top Reeboks (Reeboks with the strap.), wigwam socks, cloth headbands, and t-shirt rings.
Put me on What Not To Wear!
Here are the people I imagine are populating his list:
Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen
Lindsay Lohan (enough with the leggings, already! Dye your hair back!)
Britney Spears (although now that's she's all bipolar or whatever, she can probably get away with being "eccentric")
Cindy McCain, John McCain's wife
Rudolph Zurick
Richard Cohen
Hillary Clinton
Meredith Viera
Mark Consuelos
Um, the last 3/4 of that list might also be the popular keywords for January 9, 2008.
But you know who would've made Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed List of 1994?
Yours truly.
I was a big fan of: neon slap bracelets, big t-shirts with shoulder pads, often emblazoned with Disney cartoons, leggings, high top Reeboks (Reeboks with the strap.), wigwam socks, cloth headbands, and t-shirt rings.
Put me on What Not To Wear!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Hannah Montana Body Double
OMG! Did you hear the news that Miley Cyrus might use a body double in her concerts with The Jonas Brothers? That sounds just like an episode of Hannah Montana! *giggles*
Anyway, I hope that totally isn't true, b/c I paid $75 for that concert, and if Miley Cyrus wasn't on stage at all times, it would be like she gypped me out of like, $5. Or whatever.
PS. I hope she broke up with Nick Jonas, b/c Nick Jonas and I are meant to be 2ge+her 4eva! LOL. However, if Nick is taken, I wouldn't mind Joe Jonas. Also hottt!!! That is, of course, he hasn't started dating that trampslut whorebitch JoJo. I think Joe Jonas' manager made him take those pictures, just so everyone could call them Joe Jo and JoJo. Lame!!!
But if Nick Jonas and Joe Jonas are BOTH taken, for whatever stupid reason, I would fully settle for Kevin. He's ok. Better if he doesn't straighten his hair. Jo Bros. are SO HOT.
Anyway, I hope that totally isn't true, b/c I paid $75 for that concert, and if Miley Cyrus wasn't on stage at all times, it would be like she gypped me out of like, $5. Or whatever.
PS. I hope she broke up with Nick Jonas, b/c Nick Jonas and I are meant to be 2ge+her 4eva! LOL. However, if Nick is taken, I wouldn't mind Joe Jonas. Also hottt!!! That is, of course, he hasn't started dating that trampslut whorebitch JoJo. I think Joe Jonas' manager made him take those pictures, just so everyone could call them Joe Jo and JoJo. Lame!!!
But if Nick Jonas and Joe Jonas are BOTH taken, for whatever stupid reason, I would fully settle for Kevin. He's ok. Better if he doesn't straighten his hair. Jo Bros. are SO HOT.
Eminem is fat
Eminem, aka Marshall Bruce Mathers III, aka Slim Shady, is getting fat. Tubby. Unpleasantly plump.
He's just a big fat fatty. Maybe Eminem needs to go on Celebrity Biggest Loser so he can live up to his nickname. Slim Shady, that is. Not Eminem. If he wanted to live up to his Eminem moniker, he'd have to be chocolate on the inside. And wear a tough exterior shell. Which...he actually might be. Seeing as he's a rapper and all.
He's just a big fat fatty. Maybe Eminem needs to go on Celebrity Biggest Loser so he can live up to his nickname. Slim Shady, that is. Not Eminem. If he wanted to live up to his Eminem moniker, he'd have to be chocolate on the inside. And wear a tough exterior shell. Which...he actually might be. Seeing as he's a rapper and all.
New Hampshire Primary Results 2008
According to nashutelegraph.com "Hillary Rodham Clinton, who stage-managed her way to a third-place finish in Iowa, is engaging more directly with the New Hampshire masses. Mike Huckabee, who rode his Christian faith to victory in the caucuses, is now talking mostly economics."
That's not plagarism, right? If I put it in quotes and cite it like that? I'm so bad at MLA. And APA.
Democratic Party Candidates: Senator Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Mike Gravel, Dennis Kucinich, Senator Barack Obama, Governor Bill Richardson.
Wyoming Primary. Massachusetts primary. Michigan Primary. Presidential primary. This is my election coverage. Primary colors. John travolta.
Who will win the New Hampshire Primary? What are the NH Primary Results of 2008?
I have no idea. I'm completely unqualified to discuss this subject matter.
Does anyone know of a good candidate calculator? Or know where I can register to vote? Vote or Die! Maybe I should just watch The Colbert Report. Or The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I heard they are returning without their writers. Let's see how bedraggled they are by the end of the month. Just settle the writer's strike already! I'm suffering!
That's not plagarism, right? If I put it in quotes and cite it like that? I'm so bad at MLA. And APA.
Democratic Party Candidates: Senator Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Mike Gravel, Dennis Kucinich, Senator Barack Obama, Governor Bill Richardson.
Wyoming Primary. Massachusetts primary. Michigan Primary. Presidential primary. This is my election coverage. Primary colors. John travolta.
Who will win the New Hampshire Primary? What are the NH Primary Results of 2008?
I have no idea. I'm completely unqualified to discuss this subject matter.
Does anyone know of a good candidate calculator? Or know where I can register to vote? Vote or Die! Maybe I should just watch The Colbert Report. Or The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I heard they are returning without their writers. Let's see how bedraggled they are by the end of the month. Just settle the writer's strike already! I'm suffering!
I'm bitten! By Sarah Jessica Parker
Sarah Jessica Parker here! You may know me as the bow-legged, stiletto wearing, big haired gal from Sex and the City. I have a new, inexpensive clothing line called Bitten. Bitten by Sarah Jessica Parker! I'm fairly certain it's not made by little underage Malaysians. Only of age Malaysians! Bitten is available at Steve & Barry's. Did you see me, Sarah Jessica Parker, on Project Runway? Wasn't I a hoot?
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